ADULT PROBLEMS – KIDS ADVICE

ADULT PROBLEMS – KIDS ADVICE

Very recently, I had the opportunity to be part of a team which I am thankful for. If you know me… By now you would know that I am always looking for a new project to work on. Sourcing out clients, looking for opportunities. Just trying to make something of myself.

I received an e-mail about a Social Media Gig from Dave Keystone. If you never heard of him, He’s the guy who is the Host on Corus Entertainment’s, YTV’s Cook’d and Dave’s Cook’d Kitchen. He was also one of the lead roles on U8TV’s Reality TV Show, The Lofters back in 2001. He also has credits for his Robert De Niro impression on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Has performed in many Stand-Up Comedy shows in Los Angeles, well established clubs in Toronto and on Caroline’s Broadway.

Currently he is the Founding Partner and Host of Canoodle Content. A YouTube mini series of a show called #KidsOn. A show which went viral and was seen on Forbes, Mashable, EliteDaily, The Huffington Post, Daily Mail, Elle Canada, Narcity , The Social on CTV and much more! It is an Adult Series about kids who give advice to our adult problems. You may think it’s ridiculous, but these advice given by kids are actually quite hilarious and could probably save you!

Anyhow, back to me! Dave Keystone has given me the opportunity to be the Social Media Voice of Canoodle Content. Which I was very thankful for. Things are looking up for me recently. Late last year, I’ve started my own Toronto Urban Clothing Line at Hustle Manifest together with my partner, Lynn Martinez. I also started to take my hobby of web and graphic design and turned it into a business which included my blogging and social media management. If you know anyone looking for some kind of Digital work, be sure to check out Mory & Co. Which then allowed me to work around my own schedule, from anywhere. I was able to get few contracts with clients and now an opportunity with a Production Company, Canoodle Content! I suggest you go check them out!  The Complete First Season is already out on YouTube. The Second Season will be out soon!  TUNE IN! AND BE SURE TO SUBSCRIBE AND SHARE! Also follow @CanoodleContent on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram!

 

Above is the Trailer for Season 1 of #KidsOn. WATCH and enjoy! 

Finding Common Ground Can Build A Healthy Relationship.

Finding Common Ground Can Build A Healthy Relationship.

They say opposites attract. However, It is important that in a relationship you should find some kind of common ground if you want to build a relationship that will last. You will have a stronger connection with your other half if the values between both of you are shared. I am not saying that you have to mould your partner into another “you”. What I am saying is that create a relationship where you can see both of you spending your lives together. To better understand what kind of values or insights both of you may share or may not share, take a look at the following below:

You Surround Yourself With What?

While you may think your surroundings shouldn’t matter, it does. It is important because your other half will eventually become a part of your surroundings. Think about it. Think of your life style? How do you like your home space to be furnished? Are you a city life person or are you the person who would prefer to live in the country. What are the possessions that you value the most? Let these things sink in your mind… It will help the both of you realize if you are compatible with one another once you start wanting to live together.

You Spend Your Time, How?

I have to admit, I tend to prioritize myself with my own needs. I believe this is where most relationships experience falling short. When one gives more time to what is more important to themselves. But that is not how it should work. In a relationship, you need to also allocate time spent with your other half. It is important to know that your significant other also needs your attention and time. I think you need to re-think your commitment if you are having difficulty making time for him or her. In my case… her.

Finances, How Do You Manage It?

Oh for the love of money. This is where a lot of relationships fail. This is where the burst of anger tends to happen. What may be important for you to buy may not be for your partner. Some of you may be stuck in the YOLO life. Whereas the other is saving up for the long term goals, such as a home, important bills, even retirement. Sometimes these values don’t share common ground. But you need to compromise. Example, one spends less while the other saves a little more.

What Are Your Future Plans and Goals?

If you are thinking of having someone be a part of your future, then obviously you should share what you have planned in your future with them as well. Whether it’s your dreams or goals you want to achieve. It all matters. Why? Because you would want support coming from your other half making you feel like you can achieve and fulfill them. Plenty of times there are people who get into relationships, and once they finally settle down with each other they learn that they are not appreciative of their goals they are trying to make a reality or choices in their careers. You wouldn’t want to put strain on your relationships that’s why it is important that both of you support each others future plans. Don’t just say you do.

How Open Are You About Your Feelings?

Everyone has different ways of expressing their feelings. Some like to talk it out. I, for one like to have my space and write out all my feelings. Some take breaks from the relationship to help get things into perspective, while others feel dependent, emotionally to their significant others and want to discuss everything. I learned from experience that this can be a rough situation because when you know that your partner is stressing out and wants to discuss it with you and you’re the type who rather not talk (at the moment) and it just drives them crazy. But, that may be because you feel overwhelmed with your partner and feel like you just need the space. This also calls for compromising. How? One can express their emotions and feelings occasionally and the other can give space to breathe.

My End Result:

I have had my share of the dating scene. Been in and out of relationships. But not once, was I able to be myself and be open to my partner until now. I can say that I am lucky to find someone who shares common goals and future plans with me. One who knows how to compromise when it is needed. But not all things are rainbows and unicorns. We still fall short sometimes. But we always find common ground. We are both supportive with all aspects of each others lives. Oh! and she loves food just as much as I do! That’s a plus!

Love. The truth, in all honesty.

Love. The truth, in all honesty.

Love, the truth, in all honesty is that a certain part of you that truly believes that if you give away your love will entirely – no, actually must – result in having some kind of love equivalent to what you gave in return. If for any reason you did not believe in this, for you, love would be impossible. How else could you validate all of those heart-sicken tears, the nights with no sleep, all the work and all the play that you have neglected?

Love, the truth, in all honesty is not about a physics equation. Love does not have a law of conservation. However, it can be created, it could also be destroyed.  This so-call love that you let out to the world will certainly not last forever, ricocheting  through atoms, and as needed; shifting shapes. Your love can stop cold with a thoughtless heart.

The truth is, when it comes to love, it means someone can love you very much yet still be very hurtful and careless.  Love is not some kind of charm that will protect you and even if it feels like it, it’s not magic. Love, in all honesty is not inherently good.

Love is like having your faith in it being misplaced; Love is not a higher power or some kind of system belief or even an altar in which you need to kneel before or sacrifice. You know what love is? It is wild, a force, a dangerous one – invigorating, even exhilarating, indeed, but also very much destructive. When loving someone, it is like positioning yourself at the very rim of the water in the center of a hurricane; the pounding of the waves that crash against the shorelines which are incredibly beautiful, mesmerizing actually, but it’s the treat of drowning which is very real.

Honestly, truth about love is that it is a sneaky monster. A sneaky, crazy monster with teeth like razor blades.

If you think about it,  love is so bound up with such a regret that it may seem almost impossible to separate the two. The words you said, you regret because you didn’t realize it came out so badly. You also regret the fact that you let yourself get so vulnerable, how you let your chest burst open to expose your  still-thumping-beating heart. Then you regret all those stupid chances you gave freely and all those “I forgive You’s ” you bled out so generously.  You now regret all those times you have not spent with each other, nights you sat on opposite sides of the room both immersed in your iphones. You regret those times that you both wasted in sulking, or arguing or lingering in the state of deliberate misunderstandings. You regretted the start, the beginning of the relationship because it only led to this moment. Then you regret the ending, because you know its everything you will never get back. But then you do your best not never regret what was in between, but you do… yeah, you do.

love, the truth, is that most of us have a difficult time differentiating between what love is and habit. Love is not about a cure-all or a panacea. All the love in this world you can have and yet still be just as torn and broken as ever. Just because you’re in love, it doesn’t mean it will fix you; following the initial flush of romance you will just find that you are actually in the same place, except this time you’re worried that you’re dragging someone new with you.

Love , the truth in all honesty is that we all tend to talk about love as if its something that we’re owed, but no, its not really. We are all humans who deserve to be treated with respect and decency. People deserve the essential necessities such as shelter and food and clean water. We all deserve to feel safe. We don’t deserve love. Love, the truth, in all honesty, we would do it all over again. A thousand times over.

With Love,

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The Do’s and Don’ts

The Do’s and Don’ts

Throughout the  years I have heard and experienced advice from successful couples regarding 5 things you should say to your partner everyday and the five things you should never say to your him or her!

First, the positive. The five things you should say to your partner everyday:

1. I love you. These are the three favorite words of every better half. It is a simple, direct, powerful, and highly meaningful statement. And don’t fall into the trap of so many couples who say, “Oh, I don’t need to tell him/her I love him/her. He/she knows I do. It doesn’t matter whether you think your partner already knows, you still must still tell them multiple times each and every day.

2. I am so lucky to have you! If you want to touch the heartstrings of the one you love, tell them this. Just imagine, being reminded every day that you are a blessing to the one you share your life with. Saying this to the one you love and being told this by the one you love will not only make your day, it will make you feel all warm and fuzzy!

3. You look beautiful (handsome)! There is a major truth we have learned over the years – successful couples really do find each other attractive. And you know why – because they look for the most positive characteristics in each other in both a psychological as well as a physical sense. Admit it, sometimes when you observe others in love you have privately said this to yourself – “What do they find attractive about each other?” But the truth is, they do find each other attractive – they really do find each other handsome or beautiful! So, telling each other this daily is a powerful statement of love.

4. I would like your opinion about this or that. Successful couples have great admiration and respect for each other. They value each other’s opinions. Their most trusted advisor in life is their partner. The people you ask for advice are those that you trust and whose opinions you value. At the top of your trust list should be your partner. Ask their opinion and acknowledge their wisdom. They will love you for it.

5. And finally, everyday of your life with the one you love, point out one of their strengths. Try this – “Sweetheart, did I ever tell you how much I admire the positive way you treat others?” Or, how about this – “Honey, you have such wonderful taste in clothes!” And try this – “You are so darn smart!” Make sure the strength you highlight is a true strength, but each and every day, highlight one or more of the strengths of your wonderful soul-mate. They will love you for it!

Just as important as saying the right thing to the one you love each and every day is to avoid saying statements that have the potential to destroy the foundation of the relationship. Saying just one wrong thing can negate an entire day of good statements and actions. Negative and hurtful statements can have the power to cut through the very fabric of the bond between two people in love.

Here are those five things you should never say to your partner:

1. It’s your fault! Sometimes, a financial decision goes bad, one of your children gets in trouble at school, or some household calamity occurs. And know this – things do go bad from time to time in any relationship. Decisions turn out wrong. Shit happens! But you know what, the blame game never works! It alienates. It divides. It most certainly undermines trust and openness in your relationship. When the decision turns out wrong, successful couples still think of it as “our decision” and do not assign fault or blame to the one who made the decision.

2. I told you so! Trust me on this – these four words are rarely ever used. This kind of “comeuppance” has no place in a loving relationship. There is no need to remind your better half that you were right about something and they were wrong. Talk about wasted criticism! Rethink this approach – casting aspersions towards your partner is not productive and it rarely ever produces something of value.

3. Saying “I am upset with you about this or that … .” in a public setting. Telling private secrets or criticizing your partner in public or to someone else can do permanent damage to the trust in your relationship. True or not – it doesn’t matter. Keep private things private and never criticize your partner to another human being.

4. Why do you always … Focusing on your partner’s weakness rather than building on their strengths will only increase their weakness and diminish their strength. This habit can send a relationship into a downward spiral if weaknesses are pointed out and commented upon. Success does breed success. Stick with the strengths and don’t focus on weakness.

5. Ask for your partner’s opinion and then do the opposite. We have heard from many angry divorced or almost divorced or broken up couples that this is the greatest indicator of “disrespect.” If you ask where your partner wants to go to dinner and he/she suggests a couple of places, then you select a different one, by your actions you have said, “I do not respect your opinion and do not care what you think!”

Since saying negative or hurtful things can be damaging to a loving relationship, it is wise to take extra caution before engaging your mouth when these negative thoughts come into your mind. Here are some quick tips to help you THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK!

1. Will my comment hurt? Sometimes we just blurt out things that are hurtful or negative without thinking about their impact.

2. Am I just mad and do I need to wait before I speak? When you are mad is not a good time to judge whether a statement will have long-lasting negative impact. Just be silent for a moment to determine if you are acting reasonably or if you are too mad to judge the damage you will invoke by your statement.

3. Is it worth it? There is so much long-term damage that can be caused by negative or hurtful comments that it really has to be a critically important issue to take that type of risk.

4. Could it be said a different way? Many times a negative or hurtful statement can be said in a positive manner with a bit of thought. Often with that bit of thought it will also be apparent that there really was no need to make the statement at all.

While actions speak louder than words, it is also true that words can help build an understanding between two people and cement a lasting relationship. On the flip side, all too often people forget that one negative or hurtful statement can undo an entire day’s positive actions and words, damaging the very core of the relationship. So, be mindful of choosing words that will enhance your relationship each and every day. Your partner will love you for it!

Simple Things Matter!

I’ve Learned…

I’ve Learned…

I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back

I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I’ve learned that it’s not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts.

I’ve learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that, you’d better know something.

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do.

I’ve learned that it’s not what happens to people that’s important. It’s what they do about it.

I’ve learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.

I’ve learned that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I’ve learned that it’s a lot easier to react than it is to think.

I’ve learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I’ve learned that you can keep going long after you think you can’t.

I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I’ve learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I’ve learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place. (Amen to that!)

I’ve learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I’ve learned that learning to forgive takes practice.

I’ve learned that there are people who love you dearly, but just don’t know how to show it.

I’ve learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I’ve learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I’ve learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I’ve learned that I’m getting more and more like my grandma, and I’m kinda happy about it.

I’ve learned that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.

I’ve learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I’ve learned that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

I’ve learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

I’ve learned that you should never tell a child her dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if she believed it

I’ve learned that your family won’t always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren’t related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren’t biological.

I’ve learned that no matter how good a friend someone is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I’ve learned that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I’ve learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

I’ve learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I’ve learned that sometimes when my friends fight, I’m forced to choose sides even when I don’t want to.

I’ve learned that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.

I’ve learned that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions.

I’ve learned that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I’ve learned that if you don’t want to forget something, stick it in your underwear drawer.

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I’ve learned that the clothes I like best are the ones with the most holes in them.

I’ve learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I’ve learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.

I’ve learned that there are many ways of falling and staying in love.

I’ve learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves, get farther in life.

I’ve learned that many things can be powered by the mind, the trick is self-control.

I’ve learned that no matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar, you will feel lonely and lost at the times you need them most.

I’ve learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don’t even know you.

I’ve learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I’ve learned that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains.

I’ve learned that the paradigm we live in is not all that is offered to us.

I’ve learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I’ve learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.

I’ve learned that although the word “love” can have many different meaning, it loses value when overly used.

I’ve learned that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings and standing up for what you believe.

Dear Special Future

Dear Special Future

Dear Special Future,

I didn’t know how to start this letter
Dear, or hello, couldn’t decide which sound better.
I went for the informal because I’m not trying to impress
Try to make it laid back so there’s no need to stress.
I know I don’t know your name—but someday I hope
We’ll meet on the street and no longer be alone.
Sometimes I gaze up at the stars and imagine how it will be—
Where will it happen? Will you just turn and look at me?
Will we discover the meaning of “love at first sight?”
Perhaps it will take one or two nights—
Laying out under the stars and discovering the mysteries
Asking questions that have eluded the minds of many for centuries.
Maybe it will be our laughter that floats in the air—
That makes us turn in the right direction, at that moment, right there.
Our eyes will meet, and it will be just like in a movie
We’ll smile at each other, and you’ll ask me out for a cup of coffee.
Oh the possibilities, they haunt me in my sleep
All the secrets I want to share but for now I keep.
Each poem I write makes me somehow feel closer to you
Based on emotions that I know to be true.
When life gets me down, I look up at the night sky
For a long moment, I’m silent but eventually I’ll sigh—
Someday we’ll meet, and it’ll be like we had never been apart
Because you know when you’ve found the one
That completes your heart.

I look at the letter, tears roll down my cheeks
I rest my head on my pillow, and try to sleep.
Slowly the letter slips from my hands—
Tumbles to the ground, but the wind has other plans.
Out the window, it soars through the night
Travels the world in its magnificent flight—
And gets caught in a branch, outside her room;
Where inside she is dreaming of the love to come soon.

 

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